Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tomorrow Our Journey Begins!!!!

Tomorrow morning we head to Toronto to begin the first leg of our trip to China and in the afternoon we will board the plane for the 13-hour flight to Trinity's homeland. Tonight we are staying in a hotel just outside of the airport and as I sit here typing I can hear the planes taking off every few minutes. It is really surreal to think that in about 7 short hours we will be on one of those planes!!! I am finding it very hard to express how I am feeling and I’m not sure that it has all really set in yet but I do know that we are ready and we are in for the trip of a lifetime!!

Below is a letter that I have seen on a few other blogs and it is great information for family & friends so I thought I would edit it to suit our circumstances and post it here for all of you to read.

Now I am going to try to catch a few zzzzz’s and I will send posts as soon as I can!!

Dear Family and Friends,

As we were preparing for the arrival of Trinity, we have learned that while decorating the nursery and stocking up on baby essentials is important, even more important is the emotional health of my baby. In her short life our daughter will have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than most adults could handle. Imagine how much harder the changes will be for her. While she may not consciously remember the events, she will still experience immense loss, including feelings of grief and trauma. Currently she is very attached to her foster mom and very soon Trinity will deeply feel the loss of her in her life. She's already experienced the loss of her birthmother and will soon experience the loss of familiar and comforting family as well as the sights, smells, and language of her birth country. Her world will turn upside down. She will struggle with feeling safe and secure and she may lack the ability to trust that we will meet her needs.

We are prepared to meet her emotional needs so that she learns that we will always take care of her and we will always keep her safe. I covet your prayers for Trinity, Larry & I as she learns to trust us and pray that her little heart opens up to love me as her Mom and Larry as her Dad.

We also need your support. In order to form a strong and healthy attachment we will allow her to regress so that she has the opportunity to go through all of the emotional stages with us despite her chronological age. Although it may appear that we are spoiling her, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. Until she has learned that we are her parents, we will need to be her primary caretakers at all times. It is essential that Larry or I always hold Trinity, feed her, and do all of the nurturing. You may wonder how long this will take, but the timeline is different for every child. We will follow her lead and trust our instincts as her parents rather than worry about what society expects.

We know many of you are going to want to meet Trinity, especially with it being the Holiday season but we ask that before you come to visit, please call to see if we are accepting company yet. We are not doing this to push any of you away or to be rude. We have all been waiting anxiously for Trinity to arrive but she has not been waiting for us. She may show her grief and confusion in many ways and we are prepared to help her through it and prove that we are a forever family and this truly is her last stop. We trust that as our family and friends you will help us to do what is best for our daughter, and I thank you in advance for your support and understanding.

Thank you all for your corporation & patience…and remember it will not be forever.

Love, Nikki & Larry

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Where Has The Time Gone?!?

Well our travel date is drawing near now and we have been very busy preparing the house and Trinity’s room for her arrival. I can’t believe how fast time has flown by and it seems like we still have a lot of things to get finished up before we go.

Originally we had decided that we would do some fundraisers to help with the costs of traveling to China but it seems as though time has slipped away from us and in less than 3 short weeks we will be boarding a flight to pick up our little Trinity. With the economy issues lately and costs of everything rising, fundraising was going to help us meet the expense of this trip and lessen our financial strain upon return home. Due to Trinity’s cleft we will be looking at many trips to our local Children’s hospital once we are home and possibly some overnight stays in close proximity to the hospital.

I have seen the ChipIn button posted on may other blogs that were doing some type of fundraising and decided to give it a try. I figured it couldn’t hurt right??

AND just as a little incentive I will be putting all the names of the people who donate $10 in a draw for some great books. For each $10 increment you donate you will earn 1 ballot for the draw. (Books pictured below)

So if you feel so inclined to lend a helping hand we would be more than grateful for your support. I will post the ChipIn button below as well as on the sidebar of my blog. If you have any issues while donating please contact me and let me know. ChipIn allows you to pay securely with your Pay*pal account. Just click the button below and follow the simple steps to donate your desired amount.

If any of you great ladies in blogland could spread the word by doing a post to direct some traffic our way we would also appreciate it too! If you post about our fundraiser on your blog leave a comment and I will also give you a ballot to win the books. Every little bit helps!

Thank you in advance to those of you who decide to “ChipIn”.

Saturday, November 14, 2009


Today I have my “Assistant Blogger” here for her first posting lesson. I know that Blogger has been blocked in China and therefore I will not be able to post updates from China myself but my friend Lisa is going to help me out with that dilemma. I will email her my updates from China and she will be updating my blog for me.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Happy Birthday To My Hubby!!

For Husband From Wife

We are having a lot of renovations done before we head to China so I have not been able to spend much time on my blog but I had to come on today to wish my wonderful husband a very Happy Birthday!!

It is so great to know that next year he will get to hear “Happy Birthday Daddy” from our little princess! It just makes my heart so happy!


Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Today Larry & I headed to Halifax to pick up our LSC (Letter Seeking Confirmation) and we finally know what our travel dates will be!

Here is Larry making it official with his signature.


Larry, my Mom & I will be boarding a plane on December 11 to head to China and pick up Trinity and we will be heading back home on December 23!!


Christmas this year is going to be so crazy AND we will finally have Miss Trinity home!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Santa

Monday, October 19, 2009




I want to scream from the rooftops that we finally have our Letter Seeking Confirmation!!!! I am so relieved to finally know that we can get this show on the road!!

*This post and some others are going to be backdated posts as I have been a bit overwhelmed and got behind with my postings.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Yesterday I was the guest of honour at a surprise baby shower!! I was told I was going to an "estate auction" but was a BABY SHOWER!! I was so shocked!!

I had a fantastic day and feel so bless to have such wonderful friends that share our excitement and joy of our little princess Trinity’s pending arrival!!

I have so many pictures to share from this special day but I want to organize them in a slideshow and with chaos at our house right now as we prepare for major renovations I am short on time, but I do want to give you a peek.

Baby Shower: It's A Girl


What a wonderful group of ladies that took the time to contribute to a very special day in honour of Trinity

Larry & I will never forget your generosity!

Monday, October 05, 2009

MORE Updated Information & PICTURES!!!

Well we didn't have to wait for Sunday, our report arrived from on SATURDAY!!!

Here are a few of the pictures we received.

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Misty was so nice and the service was very fast. I would definitely recommend them to anyone!!

The information we received from them is absolutely priceless! I can never thank them enough for providing us with some of the missing pieces of Trinity’s life. Hearing how close she is with her foster mom and seeing her so healthy and well cared for puts our minds at ease as we wait for our travel approval.

Speaking of...


(We have received word that our LSC (Letter Seeking Confirmation) is going to be sent from China on October 8th.)

Thursday, October 01, 2009


Yesterday we received an updated picture from Misty at!!!!!!!!

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Don't you just love that little wave!!!

We have been working with Misty to get updated information and more pictures of Trinity while we wait. She emailed me yesterday to let me know that we can expect an update report from her on Sunday!!!!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Our Daughter!! (Pictures & Name!!) ... FINALLY!!

After 3 years for thinking we had picked the perfect name of our daughter…we saw her referral picture…the “name game” had just begun…

Over the last 2 MONTHS Larry & I have been deliberating...NOW we finally have her name…

So I have kept you all in suspense long enough. I must say some of you are more patient than others, lol!

So without further ado…

Larry & I are over the moon with joy and very pleased to finally introduce you to our daughter…

Trinity Elise Feng Harnish

Below is a slideshow of her pictures. I hope you enjoy it!!!

Monday, July 06, 2009

A Giveaway!!

Michelle at Searching for Sophie is having a giveaway in honour of her 5-year blogging anniversary…also known as a Blogversary.

Drop by her blog for your chance to win some great prizes!!

I am hoping to snag one of those adorable bracelets that she is giving away…would love to see one with “Maggie’s” REAL name on!!


I still can not post pictures of “Maggie” yet but very soon!!!! We just have to finish up some more paperwork and send it off to our agency and then you will all get to see her!!

Thanks so much for all your well wishes and congratulations!!! You are all a great support for us durring this amazing time.

A big welcome to all my new followers!!

I hope I don’t bore you to tears with my blabber…wait I know, your all just here to get a glimpse at our little cutie…well that’s ok, I can’t wait to show her off!!!

Monday, June 22, 2009


Sorry for the delay in posting our exciting news but after the phone call of a lifetime on Friday, it has been a crazy whirlwind!!!

We have been referred a beautiful little girl!!

She is gorgeous! (But then maybe I am a little bias...)

Her name is: Feng NianQiu
Living in: Feng Cheng City, Jiangxi Province (foster care)
Her birthday is: April 25, 2008

She has a cleft lip & palate, loves to play with her toys, looking at books and listening to music. I can’t wait to learn more about her and hold her in my arms!!

I have not spoken directly to my agency since receiving her referral so I will be calling them tomorrow, until then I will not be posting pictures but I will give you a sneak peek…

I will post more details as soon as I can.

Happy Father’s Day to the best Daddy in the world!

Larry, the timing of this referral was so wonderful! What an amazing Father’s Day gift, for you to see your daughter’s face for the first time on Father’s Day weekend!! I know you are going to be the best Dad to our little princess and I can’t wait until the first moment I see the two of you together…and every moment after that!! I hope you enjoyed your day!! Next year will be even better!!!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


You’re only a day away!!!

So…TOMORROW is the day!!!! The day we finally get to know who “Maggie” really is!

I am feeling less anxious tonight than I was yesterday. Just knowing that tomorrow is THE day has relieved some of my stress.

Today was tough until I finally got a hold of our Children’s Services office and got to speak to someone…at 3:45!!!!! ARRRHH

Why are they never at their desk or just never pick up the phone whenever I call??!!??!!

Apparently the lady that reviews the files was in meetings for 2 days and only got back to the office after lunch today…blah, blah, blah!! So she told me she would review our file and call me tomorrow.


Hold on tight little one, tomorrow Mommy & Daddy will finally get to know who & where you are. We are both over the moon with excitement and anticipation. Tomorrow is going to be the first step to “us”…the 3 of us…forever. My heart beats fast whenever I think about what tomorrow is going to be like. Your Daddy & I have waited so long for this life-changing day.
Love you forever and always,

Your Momma xoxoxo

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I sat on pins & needles all day at work trying to will the phone to ring but every time it rang it was not the call I was waiting for. I almost had a heart attack every time it did ring though, lol!

This is a picture of me yesterday:

This was me today:

I sent 2 emails to our local Children’s Services today and did not get a reply to either one! Tomorrow I will be phoning them and will keep doing so until I finally get to talk to someone that can give me some sort of information…even if it is to tell me they are still working on it. At least that would be something!

Here is a picture of the set up we have in our office to record the moment the call comes! I will have still pictures (taken by Donna, seen in picture) and video (compliments of Mary’s webcam).

We are so very blessed to have some of the most wonderful, caring friends. The comments are so amazing that everyone has been leaving on my blog & Face*book. Your support and encouragement during all of our stressful days has been nothing short of amazing!!

Tonight I am starting to go over the immigration paperwork to keep my mind busy. And boy is it working!!! There is so much information and photocopies required it is crazy!!! Wow…I had no idea!

My Mom & Larry went for their first shot of Twin*rix today. There are pictures but they are on my Mom’s camera so I will post the pictures another time. I am waiting until we get the call and I have some information to tell our doctor about “Maggie” before I go…which will hopefully be this week!!!!!

My next question to all of you…how much do the Twin*rix shots hurt?????
I want to be prepared. My friend Mary is going with me to talk me through it so hopefully it won’t be too bad. Ugh, I hate needles!

Oh well, I will do it because I LOVE my “Maggie” and will do whatever it takes to bring her home!

Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers as we wait for the most amazing call of our lives! Every thought, prayer, good vibe or whatever is very much appreciated!!!!!!!

~ Don't forget to read the post below and submit your guess for "Maggie's" age, special need, and province. ~ If you haven't done it yet come on…make your guess now!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Emotional Overload!

So as most of you know we were not in the last batch of referrals...


Yesterday I received a message from Cathy at Children’s Bridge that she was looking for a copy of our provincial approval. (I was planning on sending this to her once we had a new one completed to amended the level/degree for cleft palate.) She insisted that she needed this right away for our file because she could not send out any referrals without a copy of this. She also said, “we have received more referrals” … So I called her back right away to let her know that I hadn’t sent the copy of our first provincial approval because we were in the process of completing an amended to it which I was planning on sending to them once it was finished. Of course she was not at her desk, so after calling MANY times in the end had to leave a message for her to call me back.

Today around 11:30am my phone rang and the call display said Children’s Bridge…this is when my day took the wildest turn ever!!!!!!!!!!

I told her why she didn’t already have a copy of the letter and she said it should be all right and for me to just fax her a copy of the first one we had done. She then said again, “as I’m sure you know, we have received more referrals”. She also told me that because we live out of the province of Ontario, our provincial Children’s Services would have to be the ones to call with our referral news. At the end of the call she said, “because of provincial rules I can not say much but I think by the end of the day you will have some GREAT news”. Cathy finished the call by saying she would make some phone calls to our social worker and our local Children’s Services and call me back this afternoon.

Insert here: shaking hands, the in-ability to speak, and TEARS…LOTS of tears!!!!!!

So after my mini meltdown I dug out the approval letter and faxed it her and then called Larry. He was excited but still a little in disbelief that it is really going to happen.

Not knowing what the next phone call later in the day would bring I gave my camera to my co-worker/friend, Donna, so she could take pictures of me getting the call. Another co-worker/friend, Mary, brought her personal laptop in to my office and set it up so I could record the phone call with her webcam. Everything was ready…

So I kind of fumbled through the next couple hours and at approx. 2:30 Cathy called to let me know she was in touch with our social worker and NS Children’s Services and the wheels are in motion!!!!!! So tomorrow we will set up the cameras and webcams again to try to capture a special moment...guess we will just have to wait and see!!!

I feel like I am caught in an emotional storm!!!

This journey has been LONG but during the next few days a miracle WILL happen!!!!!! ♥


Lets have some fun while we wait…

Our age request was:
A girl under the age of 2 at referral

Our special needs we listed were:
Cleft Palate/Cleft Lip
Missing/Additional Digits
Minor Correctable Heart Defect (VSD)

Here are your questions. Please leave your guesses in the comments below.

1. How old will she be?
2. What will her special need be?
3. What province is she living in?

Who will be closest in their guesses?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Here I sit…head spinning and time ticking!

Last week I made a phone call to my agency, just for some random questions … low and behold, part way through our conversation she says, “ oh by the way we received our special needs files for this summer”


I had no idea; I thought they weren’t arriving until later in the summer.

There are 11 families waiting on the active SN list with our agency and we are #6 on the list.

Now for a little Q & A:

Q - Are we close?

Q - Is our referral in this batch of files?

Q - When will we know?

All I do know right now is that our little girl’s picture could be sitting on someone’s desk in Ontario as her crucial information is translated from Chinese to English.

Q - Are we “ready”?

You would think after all these years I could confidently answer this question with a resounding “YES”, but for some reason now that we can see the light I am in a state of shock & panic! Every time I think about it I get butterflies in my stomach. I’m not sure if it is because it is getting close or because I am trying to guard my heart because of the unknown. As most of you know the adoption world is ever changing…you just never know when the rollercoaster could jump the tracks and get thrown off course!

But seriously…“Are we ready?”…Well, there is still a lot of preparation & paperwork to do, appointments and arrangements to be made, and a nursery to finish…but YES, YES, YES, in our heart of hearts we are more than ready for every single precious moment to come!!! Along with many friends & family!


It seems I can go from a very boring, ho-hum life to a crazy hectic one with the snap of a finger. Along with all of the referral excitement I am also trying to complete the second part of the payroll course I was working on before. I am trying to get through chapter 4 and all of the assignments, essays and quizzes that go along with it before Wednesday because on the weekend I will be doing the mid-term exam. I also have 4 appointments this week after work and will be starting the immigration paperwork for “Maggie”. I would also like to fit in some time for exercise, eating and bathing sometime during this hectic week, lol!!!

How will I ever find enough hours in the day when Maggie gets here!?!?

Now back to studying...time is ticking away…

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day & Emotions

Today is Mother’s Day, a time to celebrate all the wonderful Mom’s out there!!!

Today I celebrate my Mom,
she has always been,
my encourager,
my defender,
my teacher,
my supporter,
and above all…
my friend!

Happy Mother’s Day to you Mom, one of the strongest women I know!!
Love you! xoxo

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This is the first year that I feel really emotional about this day. The last few years for me it all seemed surreal, that one day I would actually be a Mom. I was hoping for it to happen, and happen fast but so many obsticals have slowed our process that it just seemed like a dream.

Today I received my second “Mommy-to-be” Mother’s Day card for this year. The thought came to my head that this is probably the last Mother’s Day I will spend without my little Maggie here. Then the realization hit that she IS alive somewhere in China right now…and is probably no longer with her birth mom.

So, today my heart is a bit heavy with the thoughts of Maggie and her birthmom and the sacrifices that were made.

Maggie, my little princess, this is the last Mother’s Day you will spend without a Mommy. I am praying to see your precious face soon and long for the day I finally hold you in my arms, until then I will pray for peace and comfort for you and your birthmom.

(If you click on this graphic it will open up larger so you can read it. Then just click the back arrow to return to this page.)

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.
- Lin Yutang

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
- Oprah Winfrey